Losing my sanity

Saturday 16th Oct 2010,

Brother,

I think I'm gonna do it. The craziest thing I'll do (so far) in my life. I'll quit my job without a new job offer.It is crazy. And I know I have rent to pay, I have your school fee to pay, I have many responsibilities on my back. But I'm gonna do it.

I'm just so lost my way. I carried my heavy head and heart to work everyday. And I lost my will to be excellent. I exist in the firm. I no longer aspire to be great. I'm just tired.

I missed my work. I loved my job, still, and always will. It's just, the daily work has reached a state of complete nonsense. From team lead I become an Excel generator, questions answering machines, and a ghost of my former enthusiastic and idealistic self. I lost that drive. It just seems they promoted me for doing something less than I am.

I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of yelling and screaming and trying to be heard. Maybe when I stand up and walk away, they will get my point.

So well, I'm doing it. I know it's stupid and selfish and insane. But this time, I do it for me. Not for anyone else, not for my responsibilities. It's for me.

Please don't learn from me about this. But well, at 25, when you are still young enough to make insane crazy mistakes like that, you just need to take a chance, and a leap of faith.

Have faith in me, too, brother.

Well, I don't know how I'm gonna survive Singapore after I quit without a job, but we will see :)

Love