Soul searching - Lost and Found

January 12th 2011, 7:45pm Los Angeles time

Dear brother,

A new year just came by and I was too caught up with my travel plans and my own dramas I didn't write to you. I heard from Mom about you (mostly complaints) and I bought you a new awesome watch for your birthday gift. I just hope you get to enjoy your time as a kid before you grow up.

I'll give you the links to all these letters when you enter high school, which is in 6 months...

I ran out of the country screaming (like I did 2006, when I go for NUS Overseas Colleges), and somehow lucky enough I found my calm and reasons, and some great traveling journeys along the way. I found my soul mate. I discovered a possibility of meaning of life. I haven't got it figured out, but at least I have a hint and some directions.

I realized, loving someone can mean that you are walking away from them, in solitude, in a quiet beach and wishing them happiness. I just wish there would be a day, when I walk down the road with the person I love, oblivious about people or things around, not caring about when the next Starhub bills are gonna be run, when my promotions are due, and when my rent will be paid.

I found out that it is ok to be me, for a while. It's ok to be 25 and young and stupid, and carefree. It's ok to be loved and taken care of and screw up once in a while.

And I have resolutions for the new year. Not a long list like last year. Just 3 things:

1. Find a place to start again. Singapore is getting too comfortable, too sheltered, and too restrictive. I remembered the stories of the bonsai. You can bend it any how you want to make it look perfect, but when you outgrow the pot you are in, you either break free or you die. But first, starting with moving house to a non-crazy person.

2. Spend more time with the people that mattered. I'll take non-paid leave to be with you during your Sec (O level) graduation exams. I'll try to meet and spend some time with God-Dad. And spend some time with the person that matters that most. ME. LOL

3. Do the things that I love. Paint, Swim/jog, Photography, (a little bit, not too much) of work.

Hang in there brother. You'd have a great great year.

See you soon!