Thank you for the Memory

Saturday 22nd Jan 2011

Dear brother,

It is a peaceful quiet Saturday morning here in the sunny island of Singapore. It's one of the first Saturday off I have in a long time while working in Singapore, so I get to relax and reflect a little.

The last week were incredibly difficult for me, as I came back from the wild wide US, back to the controlled space of Singapore. I started a new project, of which now I'm starting from scratch, at the beginning of the food chain. I looked for houses, which are not incredibly expensive. I eat food that not cost at least 50 cents-a dollar more than 6 weeks ago. I tried to reconnect to my friends. And then it hit me, Singapore is rejecting me, like cancer.

I know it is an exaggeration (What's new, considering it's me), but it is true. There is nothing here for me anymore (even my new pay rise hardly cover for the inflation and the new house rent). My friends have all moved on. My family is in Vietnam. The one thing I thought i had here is a promising career where people recognize and reward me. I'm beginning to doubt that.

So I guess I made up my mind. I decided to leave Singapore, for good. And not just talking about it. I'm already checking website to cancel my PR, and my CPF, etc. and all that crap. It is in motion.

Of course I cant just pack up and leave (even if I want to, that is not the responsible person that I am). I will stay until this project go live (end Dec) to finish my obligation with my firm (a good firm, just not suitable for my career goals). I know it is a year, but at least now I have a direction, and I am not at lost anymore.

I will always remember 18th July 2003, the day I first step here, full of ideals and aspirations, and that feeling back then. I will always remember 20th birthday when I was so depressed and my friends had a surprise birthday for me. I will always remember the day I left for NOC. My first job. The day I got into Accenture. All those memories...

And yet, they are the past. I am struggling as much as I can to make new memories, and it is hard. So, instead of staying there and investing in what seems to have been lost, I've decided to keep a low profile, enjoy my tranquility, and let go.

This, brother, will be the year I move. Where? I don't know yet. But far away from here...