Monday, May 21, 2012

High school

May 21st 2012

Dear brother,

I am glad you are opening up more and more about your life and your struggles with me through our weekly cafe session. I love it and I hope we can continue throughout our lives as brothers. Thank you for trusting me. Thank you.

Yesterday we talked about High school. It's such a difficult time isn't it? When you do so well at something people call you a bragging jerk. When you do poorly at something they made fun of you. When you are nice to a girl they think you like her like her (and thus the boyfriend's threat). When you are nice to a guy they make gay jokes. I'm sorry you have to go through all that.

The good news is, high school doesn't last forever. It ends before you know it. So hang in there and be strong, brother. The bad news is, people from high school don't change after that. There are mean people and bullies everywhere, in life, at work, at supermarkets, etc.

Sometimes, for some, it's easier to drag others down if they are insecure and inferior about themselves, than trying to live up to that person. That's just human nature. Mean people and bullies, especially the rich and powerful ones (like my ex boss) will haunt you and torment you until they have their ways. But then again, brother, good will prevail. It does. Once you stay true to yourself and be who you are, everything will fall into place. They may be rich, but you have your conscience and you can be living a happy simple life. Trust me, that is underrated.

I've been through high school. I've been with bullies. There were times I was the bully myself just desperately trying to fit in. There were genius leaving school and blaming it on me, there was teen gay suicide, there was love triangles, there was me quitting the best team in school for info tech and did history instead, etc. There were many drama. So trust me when I say this "It will all be ok. And at the end of the day, you'd be laughing so hard at what you have been through"

At least I do now

With love

Your big brother

Friday, May 18, 2012

Who you are

May 18th 2012

Dear brother,

They say "Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the star".

We had a chat on Tuesday about your career path. I am glad you trust me and share with me one of the most decisions of your life. Thank you.

What i told you, and I will say it here again. Trust your instincts. When you are young it is hard to be self confident, because you are yet to know who you are. That's why, my dear brother, find that core. Find the pieces that put it together.

Like your love for English and English music. That's part of you and I can see how you light up when you learn English. It's natural when you are the best English student at the school. I am proud of you, as always.

I'm also glad that your teacher made the class do "anonymous feedback" among students, and some (girl) find you kind, and helping to others. That's reassuring, isn't it? I am glad. Because that's part of who you are too, someone who is kind and ready to help others in need.

And there will be many more parts of who you are that you are gonna find through life experience and through soul searching. How I wish I could be there through it all and see how you grow into the awesome guy I know for sure you would become.

Trust yourself, be more confident. It's easy to doubt. I told you and I will say this whenever you doubt yourself. Everything will work out alright. Trust me. I trust you.

Summer is coming brother. Get out have some fun!

With love,

Your "old" brother

Tuesday, May 8, 2012


May 8th 2012

Dear brother,

Congratulations on finishing exams. I know it is such a relief for you. I'm sorry it's so hard. I was glad we got to spend some quality together on Sunday, brunch, Avengers movie and games. I'm sorry mom and dad are so harsh on you. And I'm sorry you think that I was perfect.

I know it's not easy, that I did so well with school and university and everything. It is hard to live with irrational and over-expectation from our parents. It is. But as I told you, trust me, my life has never been easy, and I have never been on a fast lane or fast track. In fact, sometimes I am jealous with you. Mom and Dad (and me) look over you and help you and was ready to jump into your rescue, sometimes we tell you what to do too much. However, when I was your age, I was utterly alone, alone with even the biggest decisions in my life. I know your life is not easy, as my wasn't. So please know I am trying to help as much as I can.

The truth is, 2-3 years down the road, or maybe more, when you read this letter, you will probably doubt me and my intentions. You will probably also laugh at how we all are over-protective of you. I know you are old enough, and I trust your decisions. I just want to make sure you don't regret any part of life. I just want to make sure you will have the best childhood you can, because that won't come back.

I know you are searching for your identity. I know. This is such an important time in your life that you need all the space you can, which I am trying to fight mom and dad for you. And I KNOW in my heart you'd turn out to be an awesome man.

I can't help but think, 10-20 years down the road, (if we still keep in touch, I sure hope we still are close), that you will have some arguments. Maybe over the girl you love, maybe over your career choice, maybe over a mistake you made, maybe over something as silly as who should own the house mom and dad has right now. But then, if you see this, know, that I care for you, deeply. I care as brothers, and fathers, and family do; as I care for you right now. That doesn't change and no time or circumstances will change that.

So be brave, and enjoy your time as a teenager; because, before long, you'd be 26 thinking of what you have done to lead you there, the way I did.

I hope you'd be proud of yourself as I am of you. I hope you'd be proud of me too.

With love,

Big brother