Monday, May 16, 2011

Oh Happy Day

Monday, 16th May 2011. Oklahoma City, USA

Dear brother

Today has been a very wonderful day. No Monday blue. Just rainbow and little humming birds sing.

The weather is great in Oklahoma City. It's sunny and 12 degree out. The sky is blue, pure blue.

Work has been going great. I'm picking things up quickly, but I'm not killing myself like when I was in Singapore. They work here strictly 8am to 5pm, so I have a lot of personal time for myself. The sun rises at 6:30am and sets at 8:30pm, so I have a long fulfilling day. The air is fresh and the people is pretty friendly. I got home from work and the room is cleaned, the bed is made, and the towels are new.

I just completed the first draft for a business plan/proposal to my boss. It gets me charged up. This is what I do well, to plan, to suggest, to innovate. I hope he will review, feedback, and then ultimately help me execute the plan. I guess this is what it feels like to be a manager. Just as when I was an engineer, I suggest and come up with ideas. Now, the difference is I have the ability and flexibility to take charge, to lead, and to implement them.

I just came back from the gym. I felt refresh and energetic :) I have never been so healthy in my life before.

I also received my new lens. Hooray!!! I'll go to the Botanical garden this weekend to test it out. They have a pretty nice (and big) botanical garden here that costs like $6 to enter, and it's only 5 miles away from where I stay (which I get a free shuttle to go there).

And I got my Kinect. Haha. I'll start with Dance Central tonight. Just hope the machine will not give up on me and say "Your hands and legs cannot and will never sync".

So yeah. It is a happy day. For once it is me that is not emo or dramatic. It's just simply happy. And I just want to note down how grateful I am for days like these.

With love

Saturday, May 14, 2011

A new journey for us both

Tuesday 10 May 2011
(report due to Blogger error)

Dear brother,

I have to admit, it is scary. A new chapter in life awaits us both.

For you, it's high school. Secondary exams can be intimidating, and scary. Mom's freaked as soon as she heard your literature result. I know you are facing a lot of pressure too. And no matter how much I'm telling you it's all gonna be ok, I know you don't feel that way. 

I was sitting there listening to mom and other mothers discussing the other day about how to squeeze every hour you have to extra classes and jam school to speed up for exams. I understand the insane expectations dad has for you (to be like me, or even better than me). I know I am just being useless by working all the time, and always telling you it will be ok without teaching you (I honestly have forgot all these knowledge). I can only tell you, again, that it's all gonna be ok.

As for me, well, I'm flying tomorrow. For 3 months. I consider it to be like an extended Manager training. I have to start from the ground. I'll start from Coding/Programming (honestly I have forgot most of it, as well). Then I'll need to work with the team to gain their rapport and respect. Then I need to come up with new processes and project plans. And then finally, I can go home to Vietnam and do what I have set out to do: Make a difference!

It is indeed exciting, and scary. And as usual no one is really helping. Here being Vietnam. the processes and the bureaucracy is even slower. But I KNOW I can do it. I know it's all gonna be ok.

Brother, it's important for that in life. Sometimes you feel you are all alone. Sometimes uncertainties and self doubt will creep up to you. Just know, that it's all gonna be ok. Know, that you are more capable than you will ever think you are. It will always be tough, but I trust that you are tougher. That's how achievements are made. 

I am sorry I wasn't be able to be with you as I promised. I wish I could be here for you in this challenging time for you. But know, that I have always been proud of you.

And so, it's a new exciting journey for us all. Let's both be strong and face forward.

With love

Monday, May 2, 2011

Leap of Faith?

Dear brother,

I am typing this for you from home.

It has been a roller coaster 2 months. I'm sorry for the lack of notes to you. I was summarizing my time in Singapore as a farewell note. I will store that somewhere for you. Life in Singapore and the lessons that I've learned.

It is amazing to be home. It's a good feeling to be with you, to be your brother, your guide, your young and hip bro who takes u to movies and teach u PS3 games. It was really nice.

And then they asked me to go OKC (USA) for a year, immediately this weekend.

On one hand I am excited to start with real actions with the job. On the other hand, I'm a little scared. I guess it was now at all I have envisioned, being in Vietnam. I am so unprepared for it. Shall I take this leap of faith?

I will have to. What choice do I have?

I guess I had this vision of coming back here, making a difference to people's life, friends and family.

Somehow, I began to realize, no one needs that (i.e. I am not needed here. Even my firm sent me to OKC). It is nice to want to make a difference, but then it is kinda scary to realize there's no difference needed to be made. And I have no right to just keep hopping all over the place, and then come back and ask people to involve me in their lives. In the end, I'm still a lone wanderer.

I am just so sorry I couldn't be here for you more, to guide you through this incredibly difficult years of finishing secondary.

I guess I am not good at being around for the people I love after all...

Maybe I am meant to be on my own.

It's a tough choice, and I hope you would understand when you read this note.

I love you tremendously.

Your bro