Happy is a Yuppie word

Thursday 29-Apr-2010

Dear brother,

I am happy.

I guess you guessed it somehow by the lack of my complaints letters. But life is full of ups and downs, and I think it is important to share with you the good times just as the bad.

Work has been improving. Well, it's still as taxing as ever, but I'm good at what I do. The performance review period has just started, and I have good feedback about my work. I guess in life, it's very much depends on your luck, and also how well you can present yourself. Your work is only as good as how you present it. Take this from me, do not ever think that hard work will automatically be recognized. It takes time, patience, and firmness and willingness to fight to be recognized.

God Dad is wonderful. He's everything that a Dad is to me. I still love our Dad, our simple, non-verbal and not always understanding Dad. He's kind and loving in his own ways. But God dad is wonderful. He just gets me. He wants to protect me and take care of me in good and in bad, and he gets the struggle internally I went through. I'm so blessed. It just brought tears of joy to me when he said he would protect me from harm. I know Dad would do the same, but it's just so rare for any one in my life to ever say that. I was so used to being invincible and protecting people, when someone says they would protect me, it just touches my heart so deeply.

I'm in love. LOL. That's probably the strangest thing that ever came out of my mouth in the past 5 years. After so much drama and struggle, I thought I'd given up on it. And then comes love. As cliche as it is, it caught you by surprise every time. But I guess my determination to let go and to be happy plays a big part of it. You have to be ready to let go of pain, because each day brings amazing possibility of new happiness. Sometimes, even in the darkest place of loneliness, you just have to be patient and not turned neurotic and give up hope like your silly brother did.

A saying "Good morning sunshine" or "How was your day,son" can make my day these days. I have become a simple man. Simple minimalistic life. Simple happiness. Simply love.

Of course me being your brother, it has never been drama free. A friend from highschool whom I hurt (as unintentionally as I was) came back. An old relationship went sour. I struggled. But I don't want to be these people. I let go of the past. I let go of the pain. I wanted to move on. I wanted to be happy.

And here I am, happy.

At the end of the day, what I can say is, be brave. Love is new and love is terrifying. Happiness is wonderful and happiness is terrifying. But in the end it will all worth it.

Peace