All we are

Tuesday, 26th Oct 2010,

Dear brother,

Do we grow up, really? Or do we just grow old, weary, withering like a flower every rainy morning.

The reason I asked, is, I guess, I'm having a sort of mid-life crisis. I know, if that means I'm gonna live till 50 with this emoness, I'd actually be grateful. I just have absolutely no energy and no morale in everything that I do. It's just... sad...

Days go by. I didn't wanted to leave at first, the more negotiation, the more waiting, the more I'm determined to leave this behind. My work. Singapore. The life that is not for me. I wake up each day wondering, will it be better, elsewhere?

Hours go by so slowly. I know I did the right thing. For me. For everyone. Somehow, it's just sort of painfully lonely when I thought about it. Doing the right thing and doing the things your heart desires.

I'm not myself lately, tired, grumpy, delivering lousy work quality. I'm just... giving up.

Do I grow up? Or I just grow old, weary, falling like rain...

December. US trip in December... Never has a month seemed so long...

With love