The first day

Monday, 17th January 2011

Today was the first day I'm back at work.

Everything was .. different. People are more relaxed. They are less panicky and quieter. The work hour is insanely...good. 930 to 1830, that was it. No long nights. No weekends. Nothing of that sort.

I am supposed I was to be happy.

But there's this increasingly nagging feeling inside of me. This is still not what I want to do with my life. It just feels like i'm going to the same path, starting all over again in a technology, a career dictated by my company's needs rather than my aspirations. I know. I know. One cant ask for too much. But I'm wondering, if I can ever get what I want being here...

I miss you.

I talked to you on the phone and I heard you are having troubles with school. I tried my best to counsel but you sounded distant, sad, and a little shy away from me. I guess I understand. I haven't been there for you in a long time, so I cant just ask to jump back and be the cool, understanding brother I used to be...

I wish so much for you to know I still care the same. I still want to care for you the same.

So well, that was my first day. I am supposed I was to be happy. I found a place with (non)insane landlord to settle down. My new project is human. My waistline is now back to 30. I guess I should be happy.

But I cant shake the feeling I don't belong here. On the phone, my friends turned down an invite... My old project friends are everywhere. I finished my bonds. I miss you guys. I don't have the career I'd thought I'd have here.

Elsewhere, someone else might need me. I just feel so stuck here.

Elsewhere...

2 more weeks till I'm home. Hang in there brother

Love