A Photographer

Friday 18^th Feb 2011

Dear brother,

I would officially stop calling myself a Photographer. From today on, I am an aspiring Light writer.

I met an extremely cynical and jaded Photographer today (coming from me, you know how extreme he is). He was asking for assistant part-time, so I thought it’s good to learn. He wrote a long email explaining his expectation. No pay for 5 shoots. Need to check quality. Need to learn 1 year before you can shoot wedding. Cannot complain even when the pay is $100 for 10 hours shoot. Need to be humble and learn. All of which, I thought, for someone so experienced, I am willing to commit, give and learn. And then he went on about how other Photographers (he named names from famous people in the industry) betrayed him. He requests me to give up my brand (Pacevolution). All of which I was about to accept. Except for one thing, my copyright. Whatever I took will be branded under his group. For $100 bucks a day, I guess I’m not willing to give that up. My stories. My view. He maybe amazing, but he won’t take my voice. I know to him I’m just a young inexperienced apprentice trying to suck skills out from someone else, even when I was saying repeatedly I do this out of my love for Photography, and my genuine interest for people and humanity.

It is sad to see how cynical someone becomes.  Photography is supposed to be about story telling, about life. And since he is not a studio and wanting to do this out of passion, I was thinking being so condescending and demanding is oddly unsuitable. But I guess when passion becomes a business, it’s hard to say. He asks and request for it to not be a studio business, and for his apprentice not to expect that, and yet when it comes to copyright, he said since money is exchanged, the copyright is owned by the studio/company/group.

I’m not sure if it is fair, since everywhere it would be the same for business, the fact is this is Singapore, which wedding is a crazy expensive extravaganza, it has driven people to be cynical, competitive, and losing that of what most important: The people and the most precious moments in their lives.

In the end, I’m not a pro. I am starting out, with passion to learn. I guess I’m just too idealist to learn this from a business man. I need an artist to teach me…

And I know, in my heart, I will never use photography or painting as a business. It destroys the will to tell stories that matter… So yes, I am not a photographer. I’m a writer. I write stories through my lens. And I know my skill is junior (as he called it) and there are a lot more to learn, as long as there are still stories to tell, I will continue to learn it as my passion, and my life aspiration.

I just want to leave this place more every day. It’s so hard to just even work for your passion here.

Brother, it’s too, is my conviction for you NOT to become cynical. I need to protect you from that, too. Life is hard, but we don’t need to be harsh and condescending to each other to make it even harder.

With love