The Plan

Tuesday 15^th Feb 2011

Dear brother,

I was happy you called me yesterday just to say hi and Happy Valentine’s Day. It was a highlight of my otherwise totally shitty day (Bad day at work + racist jokes about Vietnamese repeated on the radio + hostile things said about foreigner PR in Singapore + fight with my ex). It was as if the universe is giving me a sign to fuck off.

Anyhow, I made up my mind. A lot of time in my life it seems I do things out of the blue and totally impulsive (going to Singapore, going to US for NOC, left home for 4 days to scare mom, quit my job without a job and going to US for 6 weeks), but a lot of time they are the result of a long pondering and questioning for a quest of life. This time is no different. I’ve decided it’s time to carry out the next phase of my life. I have thought about it for a long time. And now, I sat down and planned a timeline action for it, step by step. It shall be called, the Plan.

It all made sense to me, somehow. And I know in life nothing will go as planned, but having the big picture in mind of what have to be done and how many tasks are there ahead helped. It at least calms me down with all the manic crazy desperation lately. I just need to stick with it, with patience, grace, and hope, to move on.

And that’s what I can tell you, brother. Life is short. I know at 15 it seems life is so much ahead and so unclear. The bad news is it’s still like that when you are 26. The good news, however, is that you learn to deal with them, the uncertainties of life. You learn to plan, to weigh your options, and to go ahead. Be brave, and do what’s right for you. Because, again, life is short.

It’s gonna be hard. It’s gonna be tiring. It’s gonna be at times heart breaking and exhausting. It’s life. And I think I am ready for it. Because I know at the end, it’ll all be better (I know, for a cynic, I have a lot of faith).

Time to move on, with “The Plan”.

When the time is right, I’ll share it with you and mom, and dad, and my friends. For now, it remains mine. J

With love

Your brother