Dear brother,
I'm back in Singapore, after what could be the last long vacation in Vietnam. It's been wonderful to spend this important time of the year with the family, and with you. The moments when I cut ur finger nails, or when I taught you about integrity, or when I taught you photography, etc. will forever go down in my book of life's best moments. I hope when you do read this you would remember them still. I also hope you have found the lessons I taught you when you were 14 have been helping you. I'm gonna really miss you for the next few months till we meet.
It broke my heart, but I just realized that I no longer belong to Vietnam anymore. I mean I still love it as much as I possibly can, but it's not the same anymore. I love Vietnam for its charm and its love, but these days I feel like a foreigner. The way people look at me, the way they treat me, and even the way I treat them. I even said weird unfamiliar things like "Can I speak to your manager?" or "I wanna made a complaints about your restaurant". They charged me or talked to me as if I'm some foreign tourists. It broke my heart.
It's sad when you see the place you grew up in have changed so much. For the better I supposed. However, it's so strange and unfamiliar. I'm such a stranger.
I found love at home. Covered. Protected. Cared for. Mom and Dad and you. And for some that would be enough. But I have bigger plans in life. I want to grow and it feels like Vietnam (or Singapore for that matter) are holding me back. I hope one day you'd understand.
I guess we belong to the place we feel familiar, loved, and complete. It's that tiny little place in this chaotic world where you feel safe, even for just a second.
She hates me. I gave up on my closest friends. Mom and Dad don't know me the way they think. I feel so all alone, even when I was so loved.
I just wish I found that place where I belong soon.
So I can just lay down my head, and cry, like the child I once was.
With love,
No comments:
Post a Comment