My would have been progress in 2010

Thursday, 11:41 PM, 25-02-10

I didn't get it.

I didn't expect it, but I did want it. I did wish, for once, that it wouldn't be so hard to get what I want. I just wish, for once, I could have what I want without fighting, screaming, sweating, and shedding blood for it. And I thought last year I already worked hard enough for it.

When you work towards something too hard, you become wanting it so much it fucks you up.

I feel a sense of lost.

People my age have moved on. Marriage. Study. Career. I'm stagnated here, where I am.

I miss myself 20. So young, so naive, so ready to take on the world.

Now I just feel so tired, jaded, and all alone.

Will tomorrow ever be a better, easier day?

Will I ever get it?

They say I'm trying too hard. If I didn't try, where would I be?

In the end, I'm just here. Stuck. Lost. Losing my sanity and even the ability to feel sad or to cry.

What would you do, brother?

With regards,