The year that did not move

Tuesday 1:00 PM 22-12-09

Dear Brother,

By now it's the end of 2009, many things are coming to closure. How every your brother, well, for the lack of better word, has come undone.

2009 has started as a very promising year. New job. New places. New people. New prospects. Even new dreams and new hope. New inspirations.

2009 has ended with me smoking, working 14 hours night shift, broken hearted to some extend, bleak future career prospects, and never felt more isolated by the team.

Sometimes in life, no matter how much you try, no matter how hard you struggle, to fight or to give up, you end up all alone. You do what you have to do, sometimes not the right thing, sometimes not what your heart desires, and in the end no one will appreciate you for it. Sometimes you do some things for a long time, and when you ask someone to help, they spent 15 minutes and yelled at you for making them do it.

2009. I'm throwing in the towel.

Mom is coming... I don't know whether I still have enough strength to pull off the "I'm so happy and together and I got everything figured out" image that I always have. I'm too tired of being a cheerleader for people around. There you go, now you know something about your bro, a cynic and a hypocrite.

2009. The year I did not move.

I just wish, for once, it's not so god damn hard...