Good morning

07-Jan-2010

Waking up. Washing up. Eating rush breakfast. Putting on Office clothes. Pretense. It's another day...

Tired. Too tired to form a full sentence.

It all seemed to come down on me in such a short time. I don't even know where to start, or stop, or just sit, stone, and cry.

I'm tired of apologizing for having things I deserve to have, for the things that i have fought so hard for. People think my life is easy.

I'm tired of doing things I do not want to do, and day in and day out explain and apologize for it.

I'm tired of fighting the war that is not mine.

I'm sick and fucking tired of people.

The days keep getting longer. Work. Work. Work. Strings pulled at all directions. Plans delayed. People demand non-stop 72 hours of System support. People demand Fixes. People demanding more more and more. Sister is driving me crazy. Mom is driving me crazy. Friends are driving me crazy. People demand time. People demand forgiveness. People demand explanations. People demand me to be the person I am not. Endless demands.

They all want more from me. Everyone.

When will it be, just for once, about what I want.

Brother, I just need a friend, I guess...

Give me strength, will ya?